Tho' in other provisions you'll find your own table, We'll keep you in spirits as long as we're able.
We've artillery too, care and folly to shoot,
And are arm'd as these gentlemen, (Orchestra.) -witness,
We've great guns of tragedy loaded so well,
If they do but go off, they must certainly tell;
While with small shot, from farce and low comedy swivels, We've sworn to burn, sink, or destroy the blue devils : But aim where we will, we shall always require From your hands a good broadside, to second our fire. Should you ask with what freightage our vessel is stor'd, What cargo-what riches-we carry on board; Look round, you'll see; - all Britons value on earth, True freedom,-good-nature, -wit, -beauty and worth :* With such lading as this, while our voyage we measure, Our anchor is hope, our compass-your pleasure.
(Bows, and is going; - Returns.)
Yet hold, 'ere I go, you may think it but right, To know under what colours we sail, trade, and fight. 'Tis English, true English, her name wou'd you know, We call her the-mann'd by--and Co.
Of whose zeal as commander, -zounds, I nearly-but mum, His actions will speak, so I'd better be dumb; Hearts and hands are all loyal, our standard you view, Which we never will strike-while protected by you.
Far hence this night be care and melancholy;
To entertain you, lo! a son of Folly: A hearty welcome sure I need not fear,
Folly to Folly's vot'ries must be dear, And those I'm sure to find among the spouters here. Not here alone; for, search the world around,
Folly, in every station will be found;
All own its power and confess its sway,
The learn'd, the wise, to Folly homage pay;
And spite of satire, spite of ridicule, They all, or more or less, do play the fool; Which if well play'd when apt occasions rise, "Argues the being more completely wise;" For hard it is, the diffrence to define, Where Folly leaves, and Wisdom marks the line.
Of human life suppose we take a view, See how mankind their various schemes pursue, How careful each their character to blot, And in appearance would be what they're not, See! how on high Self-love erects her throne, And laughs at every folly but her own; See Flatt'ry next, with all her fawning train, In Folly's cause she never speaks in vain ; Sh' enlivens sadness, and composes strife, And sweetens all the cares of human life; Ev'n Wisdom's self does not disdain her rules, Though often call'd by her the food of fools. In life's gay spring how foolish are we found; Then all in Folly's circle take their round, And then with rapture 'tis we prove The pleasing sweets of folly and of love. Next view the scenes of matrimonial life, Observe the mutual love and jarring strife; Folly to both extends her friendly smile, These still to love, and those to reconcile. See man and man, how closely they're combin'd In Friendship's bands, how strongly they are join'd; But say for what? 'tis for some worldly ends, For Folly made, and Folly keeps them friends : And oft in life this maxim you may see, I'll flatter you, and you shall flatter me.
In Folly's path the ladies love to walk, And oft from morn to night of Folly talk; But then, they talk with such sweet winning ways, That Wisdom's self their follies well may praise.
That all men play the fool must be confest, And life itself is nothing but a jest; They then the happiest, spite of ridicule, Who know the least, and most do ply the fool. How happy then the joyous spouting train, Of too much wisdom who shall them arraign? Where Folly rules the sov'reign of each brain, Inspir'd by her, they hope to give delight, And here intend to play the fool to-night.
IN VINDICATION OF THE STAGE. Spoken by Lord Palmerston.
Should some harsh censor blame theatric joys, And cry, "This acting spoils our forward boys" Should prudes exclaim, "Shame on our modern ways, "No girls of mine shall see those filthy plays!" Let them be taught, that pastimes such as these, Did oft amuse our grave forefather's days; Virtue to teach was oft their pleasing task, In mystic pageantry or moral masque: Forbid the heart, with joys imagin'd, glow, Or melt with sympathy of mimic woe. No sire then blush'd to see his son advance In antic dress, to form the public dance; No mother fear'd her daughter's tender age, Or thought the devil haunted ev'ry stage.
But if these old examples fail to move, Nobler and nearer shall our toils approve; To Britain's court we boldly lift an eye, And claim a monarch* once our stage ally; With gen'rous maxims of a Portius' part, He, form'd to virtues, bore his youthful heart, To him the actor's rules were fully known, And the stage taught the graces of the throne.
• His late Majesty, George III.
Our less ambitious labours humbly choose The milder beauties of the comic muse; Our guiltless aim, the moments to beguile, And move as reason prompts th' approving smile; Our modest stare no looser shows shall stain, Nor ribald words your decent ear profane; But forms by Shakspeare's glowing pencil wrought, The genuine fruits of his creative thought, Present the image of a mighty mind, Bound by no limits, to no rules confin'd; To-night his pow'rful magic* claims your eyes, And bids the visionary scenes arise. Oh! may your breasts the pleasing influence warm, And hide our failings by the poet's charm; Grant us your honest, your unforc'd applause,
And laugh by Nature's and her Shakspeare's laws.
JERRY SNEAK'S JEU D'ESPRIT;
OR, THE MINIKIN PIN MAKER IN HIS GLORY.
Vell, here I am, I suppose, before I speak, You knows as how as I be Jerry Sneak. I vishes my brother Bruin vas but here, For since I seed him last, my precious dear, My vife I mean, has given me such a snubbing, 'Gad, to tell truth, it was a devilish drubbing. Von day ven nobody but ourselves vas by, Says I " The people says, my lovely chuck, "They says as how as you've made me a buck." "Vats that, ye noodle," says she, “I'll lay a vager, "Some fools ha' been talking 'bout the major." "Lord, so they have," says I, "vhat made you guess it, "And you knows I seed you too, tho' you vont confess it, "Both in the garden." "What of that? you brute; "The garden,-did'n't we only go to pluck some fruit?" "Aye," but says I, "the summer-house for that; "I'll swear as how his boots vas off, that's flat;
"And you vas frighten' i vhen you heard me cough: "I suppose you thinks as how at me to laugh; "But I'm advised by Bruin-aye by him, "To bring an action out, about con crim; " And so I vill: I'm told, with such good grounds, "As how my damages vill be a thousand pounds." All this I told her, Oh lud! Oh dear, she's here: Oh no, she's not, 'twas nothing but my fear; But if as how, as I can from her part, I'll shew 'em all, that Jerry has a heart; And if I can but compass this here cash, I'll shew you what it is to cut a dash; I'll be a buck of spirit, shew 'em the kick, I'll vear my Sunday's coat on all the veek. And then at table, let my lovey frown, I'll help myself, aye, to a bit of brown. I'll go every night to the Nag's-head club, And stay as long as I like, and swig the bub; Then coming home as drunk as David's sow, I'll break the lamps, and kick up such a row; Knock down the vatchman too, and have such sport, Mayhap get into the vatch-house, that's your sort; I'll be as big a blade as Peter Prig, And strap my vife, there'll be a pretty rig: Oh lud, vas she to hear me!-but as long As she an't here, I'll sing my funny song; Pray don't be angry, if a laugh should seize ye, I mean no harm, I only vish to please ye.
BILLY WHIPSTITCH;
OR, THE TAILOR'S RAMBLE.
A London tailor, as it's said,
By buckram, canvas, tape and thread, Sleeve-lining's, pockets, silk and twist,
And all the long expensive list
With which their uncouth bills abound,
Tho' rarely in the garments found;
• Johnny Pringle; the Jack Daws; or, Robinson Crusoe
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