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The Tailor's Ramble.

By these and other arts in trade,
Had soon a pretty fortune made,
And did what few have ever done,
Left thirty thousand to his son.

The son, a gay young swaggering blade,
Abhorr'd the very name of trade,
And lest reflection should be thrown
On him, resolved to leave the town,
And travel where he was not known.

In splendid coach and liveries gay,
To Oxford first he took his way;
There belles and beaux' his taste admire,
His equipage and rich attire;
But nothing was so much ador'd
As his fine silver-hilted sword;
Tho' very small, 'twas vastly neat,
The sight was deem'd a perfect treat.
Beau Banter begg'd to have a look;
But when the sword in hand he took,
He swore by gad, it was an odd thing,
And look'd just like a tailor's bodkin,
His pride was hurt by this expression,
Thinking they knew his dad's profession';
Sheathing his sword, he sneak'd away,
And drove for Glo'ster that same day.
There soon he found fresh cause for grief,
For, dining on some fine roast beef,
One ask'd, " Pray which did he prefer?
"Some cabbage, or a cucumber?"
The purse-proud coxcomb took the hint,
Thought it severe reflection meant;
His stomach turn'd, he could not eat,
So made an ungenteel retreat:
Next day left Go'ster in great wrath,
And bid his coachman drive to Bath.
There he suspected fresh abuse,
Because the dinner was roast goose;
And that he might no more be jeer'd,
Next day to Exeter he steer'd.

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The Tailor's Ramble.

There with some bucks he drank about,
Until he fear'd they'd found him out;
His glass not fill'd, as 'twas the rule,
They said 'twas not a thimble-full.
The name of thimble was enough,
He paid his reck'ning and went off.
He then to Plymouth took a trip,
And put up at the Royal Ship,
Which then was kept by Caleb Snip.
The host by name was often cali'd,
At which his guest was so much gall'd,
That soon to Cambridge he remov'd;
There too he unsuccessful prov'd,
For tho' 'he fill'd his glass or cup,
He did not always drink it up.
The Cantabs mark'd how he behav'd.
And said a remnant should be sav'd.
The name of remnant gall'd him so,
That he resolv'd for York to go,
There fill'd his bumper to the top,
And always fairly drank it up:

"Well done," says Jack, a buck of York,

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You go thro' stitch, sir, with your work."

The name of stitch was such reproach, He rang the bell and call'd his coach; But 'ere he went, inquiries made By what means they found out his trade. "You put the cap on, and it fits," Replied one of the Yorkshire wits;... "Our words in common acceptation, "Could not find out your occupation, "'Twas you yourself gave us the clue, "To find out both your trade and you." Vain coxcombs and fantastic beaux', In every place themselves expose; They travel far at vast expense, To shew their wealth and want of sense; But take this for a standing rule, There's no disguise can screen a fool.

ALONZO THE BRAVE,

AND THE FAIR IMOGINE.

A warrior so bold, and a virgin so bright,
Convers'd as they sat on the green;
They gaz'd on each other with tender delight;
Alonzo the Brave was the name of the knight;
The maid's was the Fair Imogine.

" And Oh!" said the youth, "since to-morrow I go

"To fight in a far distant land,

"Your tears for my absence soon ceasing to flow, "Some other will court you, and you will bestow " On a wealthier suitor your hand."

"Oh! hush these suspicions," Fair Imogine said, "Offensive to love and to me!

"For, if you be living, or if you be dead,

" I swear by the Virgin, that none in your stead

Shall husband of Imogine be."

" And if e'er for another my heart should decide,

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Forgetting Alonzo the Brave,

"God grant that, to punish my falshood and pride, "Thy ghost at my marriage should sit by my side, "May tax me with perjury, claim me as bride,

"And bear me away to the grave."

To Palestine hasten'd the hero so bold!

His love she lamented him sore;

But scarce had a twelvemonth elaps'd, when, behold,

A Baron all cover'd with jewels and gold,

Arriv'd at Fair Imogine's door,

His treasure, his presents, his spacious domain,
Soon made her untrue to her vows;
He dazzled her eyes, he bewilder'd her brain,
He caught her affections, so light and so vain,
And carried her home as his spouse.

And now had the marriage been blest by the priest,
The revelry now was begun;

.....

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Alonzo the Brave, and the Fair Imogine.

The tables they groan'd with the weight of the feast;
Nor yet had the laughter and merriment ceas'd
When the bell of the castle toll'd "One!"

Then first, with amazement! Fair Imogine found
That a stranger was plac'd by her side;
His air was terrific, he utter'd no sound,
He spoke not, he mov'd not, he look'd not around,
But earnestly gaz'd on the bride.

His vizor was clos'd, and gigantic his height,
His armour was able to view!

All pleasure and laughter was hush'd at his sight,
The dogs as they eve'd him drew back in affright,
The lights in the chamber burn'd blue!

His presence all bosoms appear'd to dismay,
The guests sat in silence and fear;

At length spoke the bride, while she trembled, " I pray,
"Sir Knight, that your helmet aside you would lay,
"And deign to partake of our cheer."

The lady is silent; the stranger complies,
His vizor he slowly unclos'd:

Oh! then what a sight met Fair Imogine's eyes!
What words can express her dismay and surprise,
When a skeleton's head was expos'd!

All present then utter'd a terrific shout;

All turn'd with disgust from the scene: The worms they crept in, and the worms they crept out, And sported his eyes and his temples about, While the spectre address'd Imogine:

"Behold me! thou false one! behold me!" he cried, "Remember Alonzo the Brave !

" God grants, that to punish thy falsehood and pride, "My ghost at thy marriage should sit by thy side, "Should tax thee with perjury, claim thee as bride, " And bear thee away to the grave!" Thus saying, his arms round the lady he wound, While loudly she shriek'd in dismay;

.........

Giles Jollop the Grave, and Brown Sally Green.

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Then sunk with his proxy, through the wide yawning ground, Nor ever again was Fair Imogine found,

Or the spectre who bore her away.

Not long liv'd the Baron; and none since that time.

To inhabit the castle presume;

For chronicles tell, that by order sublime,
There Imogine suffers the pain of her crime,
And mourns her deplorable doom.

At midnight, four times in the year, does her sprite,
When mortals in slumber are bound,

Array'd in her bridal apparel of white,
Appear in the hall with the skeleton knight,
And shriek as he whirls her around.

While they drink out of skulls newly torn from the grave,
Dancing round them the spectres are seen;

Their liquor is blood, and this horrible stave
They howl," To the health of Alonzo the Brave,
"And his consort, the false Imogine !"

GILES JOLLOP THE GRAVE, AND BROWN SALLY

GREEN.

A

PARODY.

A Doctor so prim, and a sempstress so tight,

Hob-a-nobb'd in some right maresquin,
They suck'd up the cordial with truest delight:
Giles Jollop the Grave was just five feet in height,
And four feet the Brown Sally Green.
"And as," said Giles Jollop, "to-morrow I go

"To physic a feverish land,

"At some sixpenny-hop, or perhaps the mayor's show, "You'll tumble in love with some smart city beau,

"And with him share your shop in the Strand."

C

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